Thursday, February 18, 2010

Dating tips around the world

First date
You get to buy her an expensive dinner but nothing happens.

Second date
You buy her an even more expensive dinner. Again, Nothing Happens!

Third date
You usually don't get up to third date because you are smart enough to realize that
nothing is ever going to happen.


First date
Meet her parents.

Second date

Set the date of the wedding.

Third date

Wedding night.

First date
You get to kiss her goodnight.

Second date

You get to grope all over and make out a bit.

Third Date

She moves in.
One week later, her father, , her 4 mother, her 18 sisters, her 20 brothers, all of their kids, her 16 grandmas, her father's girlfriend's mother, her 268 cousins all move in.

First Date
You both get drunk and have sex.

Second Date

You both get drunk and have sex.

20th Anniversary

You both get drunk and have sex.

First Date
Mother, Father, Brothers, Sisters, Cousins, Aunts, Uncles, Friends and entire arab community finds out.

Second Date

You are shot dead.

Third date

Not Applicable

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Economics of Beauty and Money

A young and pretty lady posted this on a popular forum:

Title: What should I do to marry a rich guy?

I'm going to be honest of what I'm going to say here. I'm 25 this year.
I'm very pretty, have style and good taste. I wish to marry a guy with
$500k annual salary or above. You might say that I'm greedy, but an
annual salary of $1M is considered only as middle class in New York . My
requirement is not high. Is there anyone in this forum who has an income
of $500k annual salary? Are you all married?

I wanted to
ask: what should I do to marry rich persons like you? Among those I've
dated, the richest is $250k annual income, and it seems that this is my
upper limit. If someone is going to move into high cost residential area
on the west of New York City Garden ( ? ) , $250k annual income is not

I'm here humbly to ask a few questions:

1) Where do most rich bachelors hang out? (Please list down the names and
addresses of bars, restaurant, gym)

2) Which age group should I target? ;

3) Why most wives of the riches is only average-looking? I've met a few
girls who doesn't have looks and are not interesting, but they are able
to marry rich guys

4) How do you decide who can be your wife, and who can only be your
girlf riend? (my target now is to get married)

Ms. Pretty

! ;

Amazing reply: !

Dear Ms. Pretty,

I have read your post with great interest. Guess there are lots of girls

out there who have similar questions like yours. Please allow me to

analyse your situation as a professional investor. My annual income is

more than $500k, which meets your requirement, so I hope everyone

believes that I'm not wasting time here. From the standpoint of a

business person, it is a bad decision to marry you.. The answer is very

simple, so let me explain.

Put the details aside, what you're trying to do is an exchange of

'beauty' and 'money': Person A provides beauty, and Person B pays for it,

fair and square. However, there's a deadly problem here, your beauty will

fade, but my money will not be gone without any good reason. The fact is,

my income might increase from year to year, but you can't be prettier

year after year. Hence from the viewpoint of economics, I am an

appreciation asset, and you are a depreciation asset. It's not just

normal depreciation, but exponential depreciation. If that is your only

asset, your value will be much worried 10 years later.

By the terms we use in Wall Street, every trading has a position, dating

with you is also a 'trading position'. If the trade value dropped we will

sell it and it is not a good idea to keep it for long term - same goes

with the marriage that you wanted. It might be cruel to say this, but in

order to make a wiser decision any assets with great depreciation value

will be sold or 'leased'. Anyone with over $500k annual income is not a

fool; we would only date you, but will not marry you. I would advice that

you forget looking for any clues to marry a rich guy. And by the way, you

could make yourself to become a rich person with $500k annual income.

This has better chance than finding a rich fool.

! ;
Hope this reply helps.. If you are interested in 'leasing' services, do

contact me...

Signed, ! ;


J.P. Morgan :)